Friday, November 21, 2014

Thanksgivery and brussel sprouts

As the day of thanksgivery arrives, please remember to check the ripeness of the brussel sprout ball gag. YUM YUM!

Away I go to decent the donkey herd in my trusty pig tank!


Thursday, November 13, 2014

Send in the clowns they say.
I say send them wearing scuba flippers and tassels where it counts.
When in search for the jehosepath, remember kids... always hold hands with your mom's cousin.

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Tuesday, October 07, 2014

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Rockabilly pimp gnome

yeah, you talking' to me? Get your charcoal running off to a fresh start with soapy astroglide formula from Ivory soap.

Gnomenclatude is coming to Wisconsin once again, and the vibrations from the Earth's equatorial epicenter of distain will once again smear us with a fresh and uncluttered dosage of fun debauchery.

Shine your bicycles and hone your beer mug because this Gnome goes to Eleven. Evil Kinevel always was at 11. And when you were 10 years old, you couldn't wait to be 11! So much 11!

Gnome Hunting

The opening weekend for this years gnome hunting season is almost here! Set you phasers on FUN!

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Monday, May 12, 2014

All hail the king capybara!

The lonely male capybara usually strikes at midnight. It searches for unguarded monkey eggs before they hatch, then it carries each, one by one through the jungles to create a new kingdom.

The capybara will summon a thunderstorm from the south and sit on the eggs until they hatch. Once hatched, the monkey hatchlings will revere as the capybara’s underlings and serve it with affection, fruit puree, and act out the capybara’s weirdest fantasies.

Friday, February 28, 2014


Follow me, children, to Ernesto's magical chewed gum encrusted cave… follow me for a story that will tantalize you and confuse you…

August 24th is when I like to wear my schlong in my shorts and say that my unitards still fit me after all these years. Yes, it will be time for the Chicago triathlon. Why do I say this? because I want to give you the wonderment - that this event will be ridden on my fat bike. Yes, a fat bike will sneer and oink at the fully carbon carbon bicycles - with their aero bars and aerodynamically tested components….

I've done the same event on a single speed road bike. On a mountain bike. On a fixed gear bike. Why? Why not! I do it for the fun.

Fugazi Friday

For Brother Andy - BBR Chicago

Tuesday, February 04, 2014

asphalt bellyflop

Sliding into the fisticuffs punishments of the weather, I must admit, I like this. I like this winter and this climate we're having in NorIl and SoWi. If you don't know what those acronyms stand for, gargle a teaspoon of butter and call your aunt Susan to take your dog out for a walk. But I hope she's your hot step-aunt. Because that would be... a moment to remember.

Speaking of riding bicycles and going head to head against a horde of jousting gnomes, I am looking forward to Sunday's shenanigans in Silver Lake, Wisconsin. Riding bikes and having fun with friends new and old, and semi-new, and previously owned friends.

 Post pictures of your toes in your mouth.

The winner will get a Vicks Vapor Rub towel.

 A la choy!


His exaltedness

Tuesday, January 28, 2014


Dear Santa Spank. Please grant me with a present of travel to South America in the next two years. I would like to take some amigos to Argentina and ride fat bikes on the other side of the globe, where stars look different, and horse semen is Dr Pepper. Thank you.

Sunday, January 19, 2014

BBR Brings Home the BELT!

Team SnowBike Enduro Championship Belt (L-R) Colin Ford - ShopVac - Fattie Lumpkin

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Sunday, January 05, 2014

Cumfart dot com

Our boy Colin sent this in from the field. It's pretty self-explanitory...